my heart won't stay entirely in this ribcaging

take it from me

nearly a month later!
Wow. So much for being a regular updater...I feel bad when I don't write for a long time, because I enjoy reading everyone else's entries so much and feel like I should reciprocate (though granted, I often have little to say...)

Israel was amazing. I put up pictures on facebook, but it's hard to do the country justice. The trip confirmed a lot of what I already knew: I love traveling, beautiful landscapes, new cultures and languages, and Judaism. But I also figured some other things out; for instace--I want to have a Bat Mitzvah (and very well may this year...more on that in the upcoming weeks). And that I consider myself a Jew above all other religions, and that I want my children to be brought up aware of Jewish customs and history. I don't say, "I want to raise my children as Jews" because I don't think religion should be force-fed to anyone...but I do know that I identify very strongly with parts of Judaism and want to pass that on.

The rest of break was good...since the snow was gone, Seattle seemed much more like home. Eric and I went up to his family's new cabin on Camano and spent the night, which was fun but a little eerie...imagine two people sleeping in a house with seven bedrooms. And then it was crazy packing time and back to Boston (where there was and is snow on the ground).

The semester is off to a good start. I'm taking Revolutionary Russian History, Women in 20th Century America, Judicial Politics, Spanish, and From the Big Bang to Humankind. All are at least likeable, and some very likeable indeed. I also got the job I applied for (yesss) with the Office of Alumni Relations, interviewing alums...and it pays really well, which is what I need. AND I got into the 3Ps (student theater organization) major production, Kushner's The Illusion. I play a servant (The Amanuensis) whose tongue has been cut out.

I just tried to spell tongue 5 times and failed 4 of them. I think I need to go to sleep.

But first: Eric visited this weekend (since Wed) and we had lots of fun. Took him to Bartley's in Harvard for burgers and we went to some parties and the infamous Winter Bash...I'm really excited about our spring break plans, which we came up with at the end of break. We're going to fly from Boston to Kansas City and then take an Amtrak train from Kansas to Santa Fe, NM, where my uncle lives. We'll spend the week staying with him, hopefully hiking and relaxing in the nice weather, and then head back to NYC for the weekend.

That's in less than 2 months...and then the semester is basically DONE. Whoa. I am mailing off my internship application to NPR tomorrow. Cross your fingers (and toes and eyes and everything, I need all the luck I can get) for me please...

break thus far
=lovely! In no particular order:

I love Seattle.*
I love my friends.
I love my family.

Now it's off to Israel until Jan 6....on New Year's Eve, I will be partying it up crazy with the Bedouins and their camels. Yes.

*Note: I love Seattle as it is NORMALLY. I do not, however, love the fact that obscene amounts of snow and the particular gradient/temperature/position of my street has made it absolutely impossible for me to drive anywhere. I walked all the way to the Ave twice, and to the Bathhouse once, along with numerous trips to UVillage. I was marooned in Magnolia. I was marooned in my house. Snow is pretty for several days, but when the city has only 27 snowplows and some of them are broken...well....I miss the efficiency of Boston's cleanup. ANYWAYS. I hope that when I get back...the snow will be gone! I guess I'm officially an adult now, wishing snow to go away...


All done! YAY!
heading home tomorrow morning at 6:30 a.m...ew haha.
home until dec 27, then back jan 6 and home til the 13th!

please comment...advise...
Those of you with more years than me...

Political Science and History double major?

History Major with Poli Sci minor?

There are so many classes I want to take, and I can't take them all if I'm so worried about distribution reqs plus major reqs. And I don't think I'm cut out for political academia...


absolutely necessary obama euphoria post
I spent from 7 pm last night until 12:30 a.m. squuezed onto the arm of an armchair in the midst of a packed room in the campus center. There were probably over 1000 people in the whole place, and about 200 or so in the area I was sitting. People in front of me, to the side (the only reason they weren't behind me is that the chair was against a wall...but if there had been space, they would have found it!), everywhere. My friend Emma and I waited anxiously, watching CNN and the anchors and their magic map, projecting and predicting and theorizing and suggesting and wondering and HOPING. Because even on the supposedly unpartisan John King, Soledad O'Brien, Campbell Brown, Anderson Cooper, I could see the joy start to sparkle in their eyes.

First when Pennsylvania was called..."The McCain camp worked hard for's a big loss."
Then with Ohio..."No Republican has made it to the White House without Ohio. This is looking bleak for Senator McCain."
Next, the battle for Virginia, and New Hampshire, and Indiana, and Florida, and Colorado, and New Mexico...
And finally, at 11:01 Eastern Standard Time, with the closing of the polls in Washington, Oregon, and California:


Shots of screaming crowds...people crying, cheering. The sounds from the television were more than drowned out by the explosion of noise from the Campus Center and really the whole campus--if I hadn't been screaming so loudly, I would have been worried that the noise was deafening. But I didn't even think of that at the time--I was hugging people and yelling and stuck between crying and laughing, but I couldn't take my eyes off the television screen. Those words, "Barack Obama Elected President." I still keep checking the Internet to make sure that it's true; that I don't have to worry anymore about swiftboat campaigning, about the McCain camp scrounging up whatever little dirt they can in the last few weeks...

The election is over. Obama will be our 44th President. But here is where it all begins.
And for me, personally, the euphoria I felt last night will always me with me, a little, when I think about the change that is possible, about the political change that I can bring about.

I can't quote the NY Times religiously; I don't know the history of conflicts between Syria and Jordan; don't ask me who Carter's Secretary of State was. But for all intensive purposes--I am a political junkie. I love it. I want to know everything there is to know--which won't happen, but it is an admirable goal. This isn't a new realization; I am a declared Poli Sci major, after all. But it is a renewed promise to myself--I want to DO things. And it's possible.

Anything is possible.

what the fuck, tonsils
why does this week suck beyond belief?

this week, i had/have:
-two papers
-two 4 hour rehearsals
-one night staying up until 3 am reading (for those of you who don't know my studying habits, that is unheard of)

seriously. what the hell...i already had it! last year, in november. and now i have it AGAIN. kjhfqkhrfikhwiewhreiurhf. stupid antibiotics that interfere with other medications, with social life, with being productive.

and i have TWO cast  bondings this weekend that i won't be able to participate fully in...
and THIS to do this weekend:

-8 chapters dense poli sci reading ("Why Americans Hate Welfare")
-1 300 p autobiography (Doris Kearns Goodwin)
-1 spanish composition
-begin reading 15 chapters of Kearn's Lincoln bio (Team of Rivals)
-Astronomy midterm on monday overwhelmed

Excerpts from the "Etiquette" column in Seventeen magazine, September 1959
Q: After three wonderful dates a boy I met recently suddenly just stopped calling. This has never happened to me before and I don’t know how to handle it. I have always been popular with boys and I know this boy liked me. Could I possibly call him? I don’t want him to think I’m hard up for a date, but I would like to see him again.
A: It’s hard to make a general rule about when a girl should or shouldn’t call a boy. So much depends on how well they know each other. There’s no reason why you shouldn’t call him for some specific purpose, however. An invitation to a party, for example. If he refuses, well—you’ll have to leave the next call up to him.

Q: I am sixteen and in perfect health. I swim, ride, play tennis and regularly beat my beau at golf. When then—when I’m out on a date—do I have to pretend to be so helpless I can’t open a car door
A: It’s a penalty for beating your beau at golf. Actually, it is a pretense—but a nice one. It givers your escort the same protective feeling you get taking a child’s hand to cross the street. Cater to it.

Q: I just don’t have time for boys. What would you think of a sixteen year old girl who cares absolutely nothing for boys and hasn’t the slightest intention of getting married? Is this entirely possible? Can you escape men and marriage? People think I’m crazy but I’m perfectly willing to have only a musical career—and its not just a passing fancy! There is only one male in my life and he’s my music teacher. I admire him and use him as my example.
A: Of course you can ‘escape’ men and marriage. But who wants to? Few musicians we know life purely in a world of sounds and cymbals, and many women musicians have been able to fit marriage and a family into their lives. To be frank, we think you may be worried that a boy won’t be as docile to control as a violin or piano—or that you won’t be quite so much of a virtuoso with boys as you are with your music. Why burn your bridges before you’ve crossed them? Boys aren’t ogres. Instead of spending all your time with music and your music teacher, practice getting to know a few (a budding Van Cliburn perhaps?) the way you’d practice scales and arpeggios. Then, if you change your mind about men later on, you’ll have more “beaux” than a music teacher to your string!

Please read...idea help needed!
Hello, my very intelligent and creative friends: I need your help.
Here's the deal--I am in a very exciting seminar class this semester, Race and Class in American Politics. The sole assignment for the semester is a 20-30 page paper on a topic of our choice. It must be "original", meaning that we are not to read other people's articles and then use them to support our arguments. Instead, utilization of primary data is required.

Examples of acceptable sources:
-exit polls/electoral returns
-court opinions
-congressional testimony
-social/scientific studies
-public opinion surveys
-newspaper articles (past/current)
-gov't docs
-public speeches

HERE is where you come in. I have a million different things that I am interested in, but I want more ideas, partly because the million things in my head don't really connect yet. So if you have the time, please take a second and leave me a comment with anything that comes to mind in terms of race and class in american politics/history, and let me know what you think an interesting topic might be. Please refrain from the "Barack Obama" route--not because I don't love him, but because writing a paper on the election/him while it's still going on would be a bad idea.

Just so you know, here are some things bouncing around my skull--
-Marriage and family--how it affects voting (spouses voting same/different?)
-the 1950s in general (i'm taking a Girlhood in the 1950s class and it would be cool to focus on the 50s this semester)
-trickle down effect of Brown v Board--how viewed by diffferent groups of Americans, how other decisions related
-Unmarried/married women of different classe--voting records?
-American family dynasties and their politics on race

Any brainstorming is appreciated! Thank you--xoxoxo

loving it
bluetruedream year is amazing so far. not to jinx anything...but:

-huuuge single
-amazing friends who i LOVE
-classes that are going to KICK MY ASS but are sooooo good
-aaaaand last but definitely not least:

I got into the department show, which is one of three faculty-directed mainstage shows a year! Madwoman of Chaillot--I am playing one of the Madwomen, Gabrielle. SO EXCITED. I can't believe I got in...

already, this year is better than last. love it.

I had a lovely weekend. Sunshine...swimming...summer...
Eric and I saw Wall-E at the drive-in! SO GOOD. I never thought I would become so emotionally invested in the fate of a robot. Also: my passion for the Tour has remeerged, as it does every summer. George Hincapie, how I love you...and Bob Ligget and Paul Sherwin are hilarious commentators as always (why do British accents make everything more fun?).

Also, went on a double date to the zoo and saw the flamingos...I love them! They are so weird and skinny and knobby and pink.

So, it looks like BE is on the ground and going...
I have mixed feelings about it right now. It's hard not to feel left out of something new and exciting, even though I had a feeling I wouldn't be on the committee because I emailed Shana and told her I was unsure. And that's fair, because the people in charge should be 100% committed and present, and I might not always be 100%. I just hope that a "clique" doesn't develop in the Bathhouse, because that would make me sad beyond belief. I know that I (and others too, I think) have always thought of the Bathhouse as the place we go to in order to escape cliques. I'm not going to be an actress. I gave up on that several years ago; and some of the people on the committee still want that, and for them, I hope that this theater company is beautiful and successful and the talk of the town. It would be exciting to have been at the beginning of something great--but who knows, maybe in a couple of years, I will be involved again.


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